Back to Alaska

You can take the girl out of Alaska, but you can't take Alaska out of the girl.

That was me this year in Oklahoma. I mean, it is really hot here so I do miss the cold and yes, sometimes I do stick my head in a freezer as a temporary remedy . . . but more than that, I just missed Alaska. So I'm going back.

This year in Oklahoma wasn't a wasted year by any means, even if I did not often enjoy my job. I got to spend a year at home with my family and my dogs, and I got seven root canals (yes, SEVEN). Actually it's a good thing I came back because there is no way I could have done seven root canals while living in the bush.

Some of you know I got a job in Arkansas in a brand new school for the 2011-2012 school year. I also financed a new car, new furniture, and leased a new apartment super close to some of my best friends in the whole world. In short, I got every I thought I wanted. I was set to move July 8th.

And then I realized I was underwhelmed by it all. Don't get me wrong; I would have had loads of fun with my Arkansas friends and I would have had a great church to join.

However, I just kept thinking of all the things I wanted to do, all the places I wanted to go, and all the experiences I wanted to have. I was looking at Peace Corps blogs. I was mapping out plans to get back to road system Alaska once I got married (way ahead of myself there; I'm not even dating). I was researching teaching abroad. I was completely skipping the excitement of my new Lower 48 life.

Of course, how could I even afford all those things once I am finished with Arkansas? I can only afford to put away $150 a month in savings with Lower 48 teacher pay . . . that won't pay for any kind of domestic trip, much less international. Good grief, I could hardly justify going home to Oklahoma more than twice a semester with the tight budget I was looking at.

Then, Alaska called. Figuratively AND literally. My friend Mary Ellen (a colleague I met and worked with in Gambell) called me and told me a position in Atqasuk was finally open, and I needed to fill it. It just so happened the principal was visiting her L48 home that very day. I interviewed on an impulse, and gave myself the night to sort it all out.

I made this lovely graphic organizer (sometimes I just can't turn the teacher off). I spent practically the whole night going back and forth, making myself crazy over the decision. How could I reverse the things I had done, and how could I turn down everything that I should want? People would think I am insane! (Maybe I am insane!)

Financially, it was a no-brainer. I would make close to $5000 a month in Alaska, with very few bills. I could save and save and save for student loan repayment, grad school, travel, a future house, whatever. Emotionally, it wasn't a bad decision. I am smarter and less naive this time around about bush life. Plus, I already know and like at least two of the teachers in Atqasuk (I taught with both in Gambell).

And yet, I worked hard to get that job. I just bought this car. I just leased an apartment. I just bought furniture for that awesome apartment. I just told everyone I'm going to Arkansas.

You can see my dilemma.

In the end, the siren song of Alaska was just too strong to ignore. And if I'm completely honest, the money was hard to turn down, too. I am in the process of undoing everything I did, though I will probably keep the car. I love it too much to sell, and anyway the insurance company would probably hunt me down if I sold it (since I crashed it a week after purchasing the policy . . . but that's another story). My dad will drive it and park it in the garage until I decide whether I will stay in Alaska for good or eventually come back and need an awesome car. The whole car thing was the worst timing ever, but then that's life I guess.

I'm not saying it will be easy this time around. It won't. It is still an isolated village in bush Alaska, and I still want to eventually live on the road system. But I'm going to work very hard to remain positive this time, and see the beauty in everything. I am going to refuse depression, and call family/friends more often. I am going to plan a little less, and live a little more. I'm going to love the tundra for what it is, and not hate it for what it is not. I will enjoy the experience to the fullest. I will.

I am also going to blog more frequently than I did in Gambell. I am still debating as to whether I will keep this blog public, or move it to a private status. I feel like I could write more honestly if it was private, but I do enjoy having a public blog that people around the world can learn from. I am undecided. Who knows, I may upkeep one of each like my friend in the Peace Corps.

If it goes private, I will notify you all on Facebook. You can either FB message me, email me, or text me at that time.

I'll post more information on Atqasuk in the near future. Until then, here's a sneak peek at the village location.

Yes, it's very nearly as north as it gets in the US. I probably won't be sticking my head in any freezers to cool off.